Thursday, 18 December 2014

Santa Sprout

      We've missed Santa Sprout for the last two years but thankfully he's back riding his bike delivering that classy, gassy Christmas dinner vegetable.
      A stalk of sprouts, what could be more sophisticated, and what a present for the kitchen maestro who has everything. He looks a little strange in the head area but maybe that's just the level of concentration needed to stop him getting blown off his bike in the Fenland winds.
      Anyway this lovely Christmas detail lifts everybody's spirits, it gets you in the mood you could say, and by the way he's not for sale either.
      Perhaps he could be illuminated in some way? Please, please put the matches away, absolutely no naked flames, we don't want a major explosion.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Austerity Christmas

Helpful tips. Part One

      This Christmas at the Two Terriers we have decided to cover all the bases so that your enjoyment of the 'Austerity Christmas' being forced on us by those lovely politicians will be enhanced and not diminished in any way. Over three posts before Christmas Eve the Two Terriers will cover catering, remedies, unusual presents and DIY. Amazing.
      To go with the tinned Christmas pudding and the mince pies later in the evening, how about some delicious and economical 'Mock Cream'. Just check out the recipe above and we know that your taste buds will be tingling and your mouth watering with anticipation at the thought of this treat.
      Go on, surprise and amaze your friends and relatives.

      After dinner you can smash your tin of especially home-made toffee with your claw hammer and hand the golden shards around for guests to enjoy in complete silence. It will be as if they all have lockjaw and silence will fall as they all masticate happily and if grannies false teeth get stuck together it's back to the shed for a chisel so that she can spend a pleasant half hour chipping the toffee off whilst giving it a second gumming.

      The only problem that could arise from indulging in this feast of sweet treats is, obviously, toothache. However having thoroughly spoilt your guests we even have the solution for that awful problem.
      A fig, or figs, if the ache is particularly persistent. This brilliant cure does bring its own problem so here's hoping you have the facilities to cope with the rush the next morning.
      We know how to celebrate in West Norfolk. 

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

There's a house under there. Somewhere

      A somewhat run-down and ramshackle house in West Norfolk that is still, believe it or not, inhabited. The chimney has been re-pointed within living memory but because of the amount of ivy on the gable end the builder didn't go any further. Mind you if he had pulled the ivy away from the wall the gable end would probably fall down.
      We feel sure that double glazing and insulation salesmen just keep walking when they see this property. One bonus though, the ivy must be a major conservation area for birds, animals and insects and spiders in particular.
      All the house needs is a little holly growing somewhere in there and it will be fully seasonal.

Monday, 15 December 2014

Entertaining sophistication

      The festive season is slowly beginning and this year we had decided that in a little part of the celebrations there will be the added sophistication of a tin of properly made cheese biscuits placed on the groaning board of festive fare.
      We've had the wonderfully named 'Cocktail Assortment' stored in the shed for several years and in mum and dad's shed for a fifty years before that too. Sadly the veneer of sophistication fell away somewhat rapidly when we found that the tin was full of dad's old sea fishing leads.
      The boss said she could imagine the taste of those cocktail biscuits with some 'chub's cheddar' and pineapple being washed down with a glass of Babycham or Port and lemon.
      Never mind, the scrap value of the lead will help pay for Christmas.

Friday, 12 December 2014

On the left or the right sir?

      Here we are and it's decision time, this sounds a bit political but do I fish to the left or do I fish to the right? In this part of West Norfolk the road has a drain on each side. In the photograph at the top, looking west, the left hand drain is wider with very little flow and on the other side the drain is clearer, shallower and flowing west to east.
      The bigger drain looks much more promising so the larger water it is, although it does look suddenly crowded around here, there are two cars in sight right now.
      It must be the rush hour.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Follow that plough

      There we were, out walking the two terriers, and we got talking to one of our farmer friends. I asked him what they were doing, 'drilling winter wheat he says', but the ground was wet and they had already had to pull tractors out that were stuck in the clarts and mud whilst avoiding the worst dips and gullies or they'd be stuck yet again.
      There were three tractors working away and the farmer and another friend of his said that there was over £300,000 pounds worth of tractors at work plus all the ancillary equipment like six bladed ploughs, harrows and drilling equipment. All that, plus hundreds of litres of diesel equals frightening capital and running costs.
      On other hand the winter wheat is up, growing, and three or four inches high by now. Who'd be a farmer betting against the great book keeper in the sky?
       The seagulls were deliriously happy though, filling up on their ration of protein, that's worms to you and me.

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Blot on the Fenland landscape

      We don't normally pay too much attention to wind turbines, they're just part of the landscape now, but every so often they force their way into your consciousness. We've seen swans pile into the blades in a shower of white feathers, then there's the noise when you are near them. Then you marvel at how many aren't moving on a windy day. Some friends with horses cannot ride near them on sunny days because the horses try to jump the moving shadow of the blades.
      They are a good wheeze for some people and organisations making them a load of money in subsidies, that we pay for, yet providing 'them' with a good income. Then we pay for the electricity at a premium price because of the subsidies. Neat scam. If we had made up a scam like that we would be behind bars.
      We'd like to bet that they won't age as well as Victorian engineering either. They'll all have fallen down by the time the next two hundred years are up.